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Lawyer Humour - You've been warned

On hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a packet: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of soap: Directions: Use like soap.

On a frozen dinner: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

On the bottom of a box: Do not turn upside down.

On a pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for an iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

On peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

On peanuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

A cynic on juries: Your fate in the hands of a dozen people who weren't clever enough to get out of jury service.

Lawyer's advert: Divorce - satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back.

Will: Being of sound mind and healthy body, I spent it all before I croaked.