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From statements made by witnesses:

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly approached in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

From an application to court:

“The claimant applies for permission to be garrotted...” One can only assume he meant ‘granted’.

From an affidavit filed in court by a woman seeking a court order protecting her from an ex-boyfriend who she said was violent to her during their relationship:

“ He once dragged me upstairs and dangled me from a barrister”

In America, where else?, a man beat his way into the flat of his former girlfriend, then beat up the girlfriend, then stabbed her pet fish to death. “If she can't have me, then she can't have the fish”. The woman sought a compensation order so she could go and get herself a tattoo of the fish to remember it by. Precisly where she wanted the tattoo putting, is not stated in the report.

A man in Michigan invited a woman for a meal in a restaurant, where he very romantically proclaimed his love at first sight. After the meal he said he had left his wallet in the car, and when given the keys by the woman, drove off with her car. She paid for the meal.