Wheelie Bin Mania (YEP 15/05/08)
These days the papers are always going on about credit crisis, American elections, peace in the Middle East etc. I was lucky enough to receive a call recently from a chap who really had his finger on the pulse and raised with me the one big issue that we are all really lying awake at night worrying about, - the peril of low flying wheelie bins.
This chap said, they are all over the place and they keep bashing his car and wants to know who is responsible for sorting out the resulting damage.
The thing about wheelie bins is that they have one essential design flaw - they are hollow. Being hollow, you have to take steps to make sure that they cannot lift off at the first whiff of a breeze.
However due to the wheelie bin content pinchers going around the city every week, you have to have an endless supply of rubbish to fill up your wheelie bin after their visits. These thieves are well organised, with specially adapted wagons for the purpose, but the way to thwart them is to not leave your wheelie bin on the officially designated spot on the pavement. They don't like that and they'll get the neighbour's instead.
If you forgot this tip you'll come home to discover your wheelie bin is empty, assuming it is still there and it has not blown off, flying over the moors. If it is there it will of course be no where near the official spot on the pavement. There is one rule for us and another rule for them.
I wonder why the Council does not do something about all this jiggery pokery. I read in the papers that other Councils are combating this menace and have got it down to once a fortnight.
So, what could you do about flying wheelie bins causing damage to your car, house etc. The thing to remember is this is not a minor matter because they can do lots of damage. I suppose if you went to the Council and complained that your or somebody else's wheelie bin had smashed into your car, or your favourite garden ornament, they might say that it was an Act of God. Even your home insurers might get away by blaming the almighty too.
God seems to get the blame for most things nowadays. The only conclusion a fair minded person can come to is that God must be fairly useless and the people at the Council must be brilliant.
The answer could be to adopt a nationwide policy of chaining our wheelie bins to the drain in officially designated chaining spots with official padlocks using official keys linked to the electronic spy wizardry that I understand is already built into all wheelie bins, so that if you would dare to ever unlock the said wheelie bin on the wrong day and/or wrong time the computer can send you a fixed penalty notice. Either that or just give up and take your rubbish round to the dump yourself. They could not possibly want us to do that could they?
Legally speaking, you do not just have to accept what the Council says just because the Council says it, although I am not so sure that that fact is as well known as it should be, especially in certain Town Halls.
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